Love clearly isn’t as simple as B, C or D

Why am I going to type all these crap? Because it’d make me feel better and hopefully help with the gnawing emptiness in me. Do they know I’m refering to them? Maybe..? They probably don’t read this shit anyway so here goes.

It’d seem I buy stuffed toys for all those girls I fancied. It’s probably stupid but I feel less stupid giving stuffed toys than giving flowers. Well, so now I refer to them by the names of these stuffed toys. Brilliant huh?

So there is Cookies. She named the cat I bought when we went to catch Tan’s performance at the Victoria Theatre. Choco Chief and Yap were there. She seems comfortable enough around those wackheads. If I remember, that same evening, I SMSed her and asked her if she’d like to move on to a more serious relationship. I asked her to be my girlfriend but she replied, asking to hear them from me when we meet face to face. When then somehow I decided to put studies first. Well things went a downward spiral from there.. It’d seem she was terribly upset but we remained friends, somewhat.. I don’t talk to her much anymore, I don’t see her online anymore, perhaps she’s hiding. She has a boyfriend now, so it’s all good. Well-taken care of, I hope. It’s interesting how I know her though, too long to tell. If I’ve told you, you’d know, if I haven’t, ask if you want. -shrug-

Well, there’s Buzz. OG mates, hm, I don’t know, I guess she’s special and I wanted to get to know her more. We actually went out on several dates, pretty amazing huh? She’s having difficulty fitting into her class when term actually started, so I bought her this bear. It has a bee on its nose, she named it Buzz. We didn’t talk much after actual term starts. Hell, in fact, I think she pretends not to see me sometimes. Why is everyone avoiding me? She did spell my name wrongly and give me this health talisman though. I still have it hanging in my room. Well, after graduation, I sent her an SMS to ask where she’s going to university. She asked me who I am. After I explained myself, we’ve ceased communication entirely.

Lastly there’s Doraemon. I knew her because her ex was my schoolmate. I had to be there when they broke up. Seems she took it pretty hard. Not much the talker, more of a listener. I found her pretty attractive, can’t say why but that always makes it more magical, no? I asked her to be my prom date and she agreed, though she spent all her time with her friend who was celebrating birthday. I bought this big Doraemon for her, carried it around Orchard Road on prom day, pretty ridiculous. We hang out some after graduation. Movies, kite flying, shopping. I never truly told her how I felt. She has a boyfriend who she knew for several years taking care of her now. She seems so spirited when we chat online sometimes but I always end up being grouchy.

I haven’t had a crush since NS or a date in more than 6 months. I think it’s making me very grouchy. Sometimes singlehood is a bliss, it gives me all the freedom and personal space. Then it turns into this emptiness that gnaws from your withins. More so now that the holiday season dawns upon us. I need to get out of NS. Okay, all these doesn’t make much sense but what the hell. Haha!

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