We only live once in this world

The strange thing about life is how people become famous only after they pass away. I’m sure we can cite a few examples. One that struck my mind is Otto Warburg, the man who came up with theories about cancer which were vehemently disproved by many scientists at that point in time but gaining attention in recent years. Another is Jesus who died on the cross for the sins of man. So it seems the only way to be remembered in history is to either make a contribution to science or die a gruesome death. One thing they both have in common is the fact that greater fame was attributed to them after death.

Today, I came home to a fb notification about “remembering Melissa Toh“. Someone who struck fame because of her death. After reading the dedicated page and a bit of searching on the web, I found out that she had committed suicide because of a relationship that wasn’t going well. She look beautiful. I’m sure she’ll have no lack of suitors even if her relationship didn’t work out. It’s silly yes, it’s stupid double yes. But more than that, it’s selfish. Because she chose to make that guy live with the guilt with the rest of his life (if he has a conscience that is). More so, she chose to let her parents live with the grief. Just to end her grief? But how sure is she that the other side of life is better? In organ scarce world she chose to destroy her physically being by jumping off a building and creating a mess! The smart thing to do is to move on and prove to the guy that he made a wrong choice in dumping her and that she deserves someone better and she will get someone better (there’s always someone better out there!).

The wall posts on the page had messages from strangers as well as friends saying how much she has touched their lives and wishing that she’ll rest in peace and “I’m sure you’re with God somewhere now”. It’s so ironic! If she had received all these support and love messages while she was alive, she probably wouldn’t have commited suicide. Are people writing such things because it is just the right thing to write? Maybe it is more for the living to overcome their loss than for the dead to see?

I think that in our twisted adolescence minds, many would have contemplated suicide before. Some had more serious thoughts about them than others. But life is never about what ifs, it shouldn’t be. Life should be about what’s next? There are so many people who are struggling to live. People with diseases, people facing poverty, civilians in war torn countries… Such are the people who are more deserving of a page with love messages decided to them.

As an aspiring scientist, it’ll be great to be remembered for a fascinating discovery (if I were to ever come up with one) but if I were to ever leave due to unforeseen circumstances (-touch wood- I did touch my table), I hope no one EVER creates a stupid fb page for me. With that said, let’s tell our friends and family how much they mean to us whenever we can.

4 thoughts on “We only live once in this world

  1. Being a christian and having been through what she did in a relationship, you need to understand that thinking rationally is just not that easy. Love itself has no logic and hence to think rationally is quite impossible. To many having did what she did was stupid, foolish and selfish but you will not understand the emotional wreck you become through in such an incident. The emotions that run through are so great they just stifle your ability to think logically. I used to think the same before it happened to me, why are people dying over failed relationships, used to think it’s so dumb of them. But when it hits you, then you will fully comprehend why such thoughts even go thru your mind. I am just glad my friends were there for me to show there’s still people who care abt you after such an episode. I feel sad for her because i believe she had close friends but no one knew what was wrong with her rs. If there was, i am sure that she would not have done what she did.

    I guess we humans are just wierd, we tell ourselves not to take ppl for granted but yet we still do and then feel sorry after they leave. sigh..Think abt this, remember the priest stealing money from the church. To us, it’s so shameful and stupid but we nvr really understand the emotion driven impulses that drove him to do it. Just got to guard your heart carefully against such strong emotions from buildling up.

  2. Hi Vik!
    I’m sad to have heard that you went through a bad failed relationship. It is good that you picked yourself up again and have the support of your friends. I have been through a bad failed relationship once. Through that, I realised that when you need the support and listening ear of people, you should look for them. To the person in need, it may seem like a hard thing to do and there is always a tendency to think “no one cares about me”. But in actual fact, it is impossible for others to care about said person if they do not give the people around them a chance by letting them know the predicament they are in.

  3. Precisely…i think alot of people try too hard to make it seem that they are living a perfect life with no issues, by not sharing. Then when something does happen as drastic as this, then we are too ashamed to see the world when the ‘perfect life’ becomes scarred. Sigh…life is truly nvr a bed of roses even if people around us may seem to live in one. Nice to hear your comments as well. :)

  4. I’d like to preface this by saying I don’t know Melissa or her scenario but if a relationship is worth dying for, you bloody well do everything to make sure it works.

    Too many people have let pride kept them from having an open communication or making compromises with their partners. Only when they break up did they feel that they’ve make the biggest mistakes of their lives. The same pride will again prevent them from going back to salvage and patch things up. End of the day, you just have a lot of angry and/or suicidal people.

    Sometimes it’s important to have a mutual friend as a relationship confidant, who can act as a middle-man to help work things out. This also prevents the situation where nobody knows that things are going bad and help.

    I’m not an expert or anything.. just my 2 cents.

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