I had an hour plus talk with my boss during my probationary assessment. I came out of it feeling rather dazed. So the gist of it was this, he thinks that I’m not brilliant enough but he’s going to give me a pass anyway and for the next month, I have to work harder to catch up. Not so much of the programming but the domain that I’m working on. It’s true, I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to create and deliver the product but not much time understanding why. Additionally, he dropped the “do you want to further your studies” question. So I came out, part relief part beaten. Not so much of a celebratory mood anymore.
Upon reflection, it came to me that honest opinions are rare nowadays so I should take it, work on it and see how it goes. I still don’t know if I should do research for the rest of my life but I do feel a sense of dread thinking about going back to school.