Good advice from an article

1. Co-workers and bosses are not usually your friends: You will spend a lot of time with co-workers.  You may eventually become close friends with some of them, but in general, you will move on in three years and aside from maintaining cordial relations you will not go out of your way to invite them over to dinner.  They will treat you in exactly the same way.  You should be a good person to everyone you meet — it is the moral thing to do, and as a sidenote will really help your networking — but do not be under the delusion that everyone is your friend.

2. Academia is not like the real world: Your professors might understand how the academic job market works (short story: it is ridiculously inefficient in engineering and fubared beyond mortal comprehension in English) but they often have quixotic understandings of how the real world works.  For example, they may push you to get extra degrees because a) it sounds like a good idea to them and b) they enjoy having research-producing peons who work for ramen.  Remember, market wages for people capable of producing research are $80~100k+++ in your field.  That buys an awful lot of ramen.

3. At the end of the day, your life happiness will not be dominated by your career.  Either talk to older people or trust the social scientists who have: family, faith, hobbies, etc etc generally swamp career achievements and money in terms of things which actually produce happiness.  Optimize appropriately.  Your career is important, and right now it might seem like the most important thing in your life, but odds are that is not what you’ll believe forever.  Work to live, don’t live to work.

From “Don’t call yourself a programmer

Patience

To wait is merely to consider the clouds for a while

“If humans could program themselves to forget time, they would savour a string of pleasures and possibilities. Regrets about the past would dissolve, alongside anxieties for the future.”

-Cleo by Helen Brown

Of Relationship, People and Changes

House (TV series)
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Maria Palko: Marriages don’t fail because couples get bored. They fail because, while they’re dating, people pretend to be the person they think their partner wants and then – well, there’s only so long you can keep that up.

Dr. Allison Cameron: Maybe they are that person when they’re dating, but then they change.

Maria Palko: People thinking their partner will change? That’s another reason marriages fail. People don’t change. At least not in any way that really matters.

Clueless, House S02 E15

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Of Cynics & Romantics

One of many marketing posters used to promote ...

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PETER: That look says more than just, ‘I wish I hadn’t have let him drive.’

OLIVIA: I was just thinking about Nicholas Boone and what he did for his wife. What he is doing. Jeez, that kind of love. Greg asked Rachel for a divorce, and now he’s fighting her for custody.

PETER: You know, I never liked that guy.

OLIVIA: You’ve never met Greg.

PETER: Yeah, but I met your sister. So I know she deserves better.

OLIVIA: And I thought you were a card-carrying cynic.

PETER: I am, world class. But there’s an argument to be made that beneath every cynic, there is a frustrated romantic.

[Fringe Episode 118, Midnight]

CSI 901: For Warrick

(Sara and Grissom are watching the DVD of Warrick’s custody hearing)
Woman: So what makes you think that you’d be a good father? You were raised by your grandmother. You never even knew your biological father.
Warrick: Which is exactly why Eli needs to know his. Look, the most important thing you need to know about how to raise a child is how give a child love, and I’ve been loved. He says I’ve always tried to be a good man, and I’ve screwed up. And when I have there’s always been one man in my life to set me straight. I’ve learned a lot from him, how to be fair, how to forgive, … how to be inspired, how to inspire others.
Woman: Sounds like a special person.
Warrick: He is. If I could’ve picked my own father, I’d picked him. (Grissom is clearly touched and saddened at the same time)

CSI 704 – Fannysmackin’

Catherine: Pig and the piglets are in the pigpen.

Warrick: About time. Finally some good news.

Catherine: Did you know Pig, a.k.a Cole Tritt, was the only adult? The rest were all under 18. One was 14.

Warrick: You’re kidding. Who raises these kids?

Catherine: I mean, they weren’t all deliquents. Demetrius James was a college student.

Nick: Hangin’ out with the wrong crowd in the wrong town. I’m tellin’ ya, havin’ a fake I.D in Las Vegas is like havin’ a–a free ticket on the hell train. Sex, drugs, gambling, no adult supervision, 24/7, by the time they’re 21 they’ve done and seen it all.

Catherine: Make me slit my wrists why don’t ya? I’m raising a teenager here.

Warrick: Ah, you’re doin’ a great job, Linds is gonna turn out to be a beautiful young woman. Besides, I grew up in Vegas, I didn’t turn out so bad, did I?

Nick: Yeah. That was pre-Mirage. Back when you were goin’ to the casino, playin’ the arcade games. Nah, Vegas is a different animal now.

Warrick: Yeah, these kids need to beat people up in the street to be entertained. They need some good discipline, they need their grandmother whuppin’ their ass like I had.

Nick: Yeah, a good slap.

Sara: You know, it kinda sounds like you guys are blaming everyone but these kids. I mean, you don’t get a bye just because you grew up here or your parents are on drugs or— those kids were perfectly capable of telling the difference between a wild night out and beating somebody to death.

Grissom: The truth is, a moral compass can only point you in the right direction, it can’t make you go there. (beat) Our culture preaches that you shouldn’t be ashamed of anything you do anymore. And unfortunately this city is built on the principle that there’s no such thing as guilt. “Do whatever you want, we won’t tell.” So without a conscience, there’s nothing to stop you from killing someone. And evidently you don’t even have to feel bad about it.

I had a weird sense of deja vu when I watched the episode. I probably caught it on TV before. And I was so sure I blogged about this conversation between the CSI crew at the end of the episode but evidently I didn’t, so here it is.

I’ve talked sometimes about how bad our kids are becoming these days but while the kids in the episode were on a whole different level, I think we should always stop the problem before it gets out of hand.

Scared, not Angry

Arthur: You’re not mad at him

Carrie: Uh, trust me, I am.

Arthur: Oh no, honey. You see, you and Doug look to Deacon and Kelly as an example of a perfect couple. Now that their supposedly solid marriage is in trouble, you start to wonder. Who’s to say yours isn’t next? You’re not angry, cookie, you’re scared.

Carrie: Wow, dad, that was a remarkable lucid thing to say.